Early this week, I was at the market and in front of me was a mom with a baby in a sling. It was crowded and noisy at the store but the little girl was fast asleep. The mom and I chatted over how sweet and peaceful babies are when they sleep. I also shared with her that when my daughter was that age, she could sleep anywhere, just like hers. She then told me that she would wish the baby would sleep like that at home! “ I went back to work recently and I think she is having problems sleeping. She keeps waking up at night and I just know it is because she is afraid I’m going to leave like I do during the day,” she said.
I remember feeling that guilt and remember my daughter doing the same thing. “It will pass, I promise,” I told the lady. Both of you will get used to mami working outside the house. “Someday you will look back and miss these days…” And then I told her my daughter was abroad at school and I often think of the days when she didn’t let me sleep! “Your guilt will switch to worry or concern. Even when you know she is having the time of her life.”
It has been three months now that my girl left for Spain, and she is having a lot of fun. She has been traveling on her off days and has visited Prague, Amsterdam, Poland, Morocco, Portugal, and many cities near Madrid. Que suerte, no?
I miss the daily communication, especially in person. I’m grateful we can text regularly and face time at least once a week. Although this one is hard to coordinate with, trust me. With the time difference, by the time my head hits my pillow, she is waking up for school! Qué locura, no?
So what have I learned since she left? I thought you would never ask! I think I can summarize it this way:
- My life has to go on/La vida sigue igual!—I’m still her mom and will still worry and think of her often, but she will want me to be busy, happy and just keep going on with mis cosas, my things!
- Trust that she will make the right choices/Confia en ella — I raised her to be smart, strong, capable, and an independent thinker that will think first before doing something she shouldn’t do or that will cause her harm. Claro, ya sé!
- Believe that this experience will enrich her life in so many ways/una experiencia inolvidable.–I still remember my two years of college abroad and the exposure to so many different people and cultures, and how that shaped the person I am today. Aceptación, tolerancia, entendimiento. Acceptance, tolerance, understanding, all of these will shape her character and define the adult she will become.
In the meantime, I will count the days until I see her again which is going to be in the middle of May. Then I will meet her in Spain! Qué rico, no? All the plans are finalized now. A mother-daughter reunion trip! Spain and France! Two weeks just the two of us. That is what you have to look forward to when your baby girl is all grown up! Take it from me, your seasoned Latina mom!
Bai Bai for now,
Maritere
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