As a seasoned mom (ya sabes, mamá madura), and since this is the month where we celebrate mothers, I have been reflecting on the moms in my life and how they have affected and influenced mine. From my mom to my sister to my sister-in law to my daughter, colleagues and friends, women have been at the forefront of my life no matter what “hat” I was wearing: wife, mom, columnist, fundraising chair, room mom, parents association president, book author, blogger, and/or friend. ¿Muchos sombreros, no?
Enter my friends, mis amigas, the moms that have been part of my motherhood journey since I became a mom over twenty years ago. What an adventure this has been! ¡Aventura total! Ah, how many milestones have we shared together! In particular, these two groups I will mention. Because, you see, raising my children with three cultures, it has been inevitable that my family would end up with more than one group of friends. ¡Una familia, varias culturas!
The one group is my lovely American, English-speaking moms, the ones I met at my children’s elementary school and continued through high school. Many of these ladies have been my constant for over 15 years and I have learned a lot from them. Frankly, with these ladies I learned to hone many of my motherhood skills and they taught me to appreciate the American way of raising children. We have celebrated our children’s milestones, cheer and supported sports activities, created fund raising events, worshiped together and they even championed my efforts of bringing Spanish as part of our school’s curriculum. With them I learned about sleepovers (not something I grew up with and had a hard time allowing my kids to enjoy!), and that it was ok to listen to my kids explain themselves and value their opinion before judging a behavior. ¿Qué lindas, no?
The other group is my Latino/Hispanic group. These moms are from Peru, Argentina, Mexico and Puerto Rico. ¡Una mezcla de países! Most of them are expats that emigrated here for school or work and we found each other when we most needed other Latina friends. You can imagine how entertaining and somewhat louder this particular group can be! ¡Pachanga total! Marc Anthony, Carlos Vives, Alejandro Fernández or the Gypsy Kings are usually on the playlist when we get together!
Over the years, these amigas and I have celebrated each other birthdays, our kids’ birthdays, baptisms, first communions, graduations, anniversaries, holidays, job promotions, career changes, bridal showers, weddings, baby showers and trips. Many a times, we have dinner parties whether con an asadito, or a paella, asopao or pozole. Any excuse to spend an evening together and have the chance to share what is going on here and how our loved ones are back “there.” Of particular significance is the fact that most of us have aging parents now and we can be there for each other while being so far away from them… ¡Apoyo incondicional! And yes, all of us found a balance to raise our children with the best of both worlds, the Hispanic and the American Way.
Recently, at one dinner party, the daughter of one of my friends, a millennial and new mom herself, asked how did we manage motherhood when there was no online resources, no instant answers via “google,” no mommy bloggers sharing information? We all look at her and smile. “Like any other generation of moms, we made do with what was available, and we follow our instincts,” I said. “Mostly, we had each other. Telephone did exist, you know.” And, we all laughed!
How have your friends help in your motherhood journey? Do share. Your seasoned latina mom would love to hear.
Bai, Bai for now, Maritere
